Emotions

Today the main thing that has twirled within my head has been stuff related to emotions and personalities. The reason is mostly just because I still haven’t really made out the personalities of the main and sub main in the story i am writing. I will cut those in stone as I am finished with the first part and it is time to work with it.
Well then back to track. I personally have a hard time with love since I have never ever loved something or someone truly all the way into the core of my heart. So I kind of have a problem with emotion of love. It isn’t a complicated emotion really and I feel like I have learned to understand it through movies and books but to use that one in my writing is hard. It never fells like real love but maybe that is just because my lack of experience of love.
More so over isn’t love the only emotion and for me (I do not know if it is the same for everyone) it is like after I have slept everything the day before is unreal. I am unable to truly recall any emotions I had and how they feel.
I should really not think about this as much as I do but can’t change who I am.

“To hate leads to ones destruction and to not hate leads to ones end”

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Return!

After half a year of not writing I have once again started. But I have started to write on a new story, a recreation of journey of Seith. I felt that I lacked deep thought in Journey of Seith and that didn’t know where it was heading really so I decided to start it over. A half-year of thoughts I am now going to try writing more serious than before, not just write  because of the cause of writing. So with this the purpose of this blog will change to a certain degree. I will no longer publish the chapters of the story since I will try to get it published even thought the chance is slim. But I will try to blog more serious from here on telling what is going on in my head, maybe writing some shorter stories or poems and such. With that I welcome myself to my lonely forgotten blog~~

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Journey Of Seith on Hold!

Hey!

I don’t really know if there is any people reading my story but I will still post this. I am going to put the publishing of Journey Of Seith on hold as I am going to write a book. I will probably publish the rest of the story sometime in the future but don’t really know then. I will publish the rest of the already done chapters for this story then I have time.

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Journey Of Seith: Chapter 7 – Beginning (Part 1)

Eight days had passed since May arrived at the Balance. She had been engulfed by training without giving any free time to do anything else or energy to do so.
But one thing had been bugging May under this one week. She was sure that Greier had said that he would return and that there were papers and test she needed to do. No signs of tests or papers had befallen May’s eyes. Greier had not returned either.
“Vendor, there is something I am wondering over” May said and lost her concentration; making the small light, that was hovering over her palm, disappear.
“Is that so? Then I will listen while you hold the light lit” He said strictly.
“Yes” May concentrated her eyes on her palm. “Holy sun who gives day light, lend me your might. Light of the day, hold darkness at bay” A small orb of light appeared, hovering over her palm.
“Now what is it you are wondering over, May?”
“It is about Greier” She was talking slowly and carefully. So she wouldn’t lose her concentration on the light orb. “Then I came here. He said that I needed to do some paperwork and a test to join the Balance” The light flickered but did not go out.
“Oh well. The paperwork is his assignment to do and you have already done the test”
“I have?” May’s voice was loud of surprise. The light went out.
“Lit the light again, May” Vendor said with patient.
“Holy sun who brings day light, lend me your might. Light of the day, hold darkness at bay” Once again a light appeared over May’s palm.
“The test which Greier were talking about was a test to see if you could be of use to the Balance.” He rose up from the bench and went over to May. “And your result was that you was able to become a magician for the Balance”
“I see” She didn’t like it, how Vendor had said it. That the test was about if she could be of use. After all she didn’t have any thoughts of helping the Balance. She just wanted to use it to grow stronger so she could help Seith.
“Stop daydreaming, May” Vendor said; breaking May free from her thoughts. The light went out.
“Now stretch out your hand with your palm towards that target over there” He grabbed May’s lift arm and aimed it at the wooden doll at the other side of the room.
“Now lit the light again”
May nodded and started to chant, “Holy sun who gives day light, lend me your might. Light of the day, hold darkness at bay” The light lit in front of her palm.
“Now chant after me” He started. “Holy light gather in my hand,”
“Holy light gather in my hand,” The light started to pulsate in strength.
“Holy light follow my command”
“Holy light follow my command” The light grew smaller and long like a missile.
“Hurl and create a path”
“hurl and create a path,” A ring of light appeared around the missile.
“Through darkness wrath”
“Through darkness wrath” The light launched away with such recoil that her arm was pushed back.
With a sharp explosion of light and the sound of glass breaking, it hit its target.
“That is the spell of launching a missile of light” Vendor explained.
The light had faded and May could barely believe her eyes. The over part of the doll was gone and wood pieces covered the floor. “Did I do that?”
“Yes you did” Vendor went away and started at the exit. “With that you should be able to make your first mission. Go to the teleport room. Greier will be waiting there”

Seith came back to the shrine. He had looked for Ferine as he came out of the forest but he hadn’t found her.
As he went around the corner of the house of the shrine he saw the grandmother of the shrine sitting on the veranda.
“So you have come back” The old lady said and drunk some of her tea.
“I guess. Did Ferine come back? I guess, I searched for her but I didn’t find here”
“Ferine came back a while ago complaining about how you just went up in smoke” She placed down the tea-cup beside her on the veranda. “Did you get the cure from the spirit of light?”
“Yeah, I guess I will go and give her it now” He went up on the veranda and continued into the house.
“Yes, let’s go” She rose and headed after Seith.
Seith went forth to the bed. The girl’s face was flushed in red and her breathing was irregular and heavy. The blind fold had been placed back, covering the girl’s eyes.
“Give me the medicine. I will mix it into some soup so it will be easier for her” The old lady said as she caught up with Seith.
“I guess that isn’t possible” He shrugged and took of the girl’s blindfold; uncovering the rotten eye-hole. “Hope nothing bad happens” His voice was shaking slightly and opened the girl’s mouth. He bit himself in his index finger. Harder than he had intended; a cracking sound was heard from the finger. While he holds the girl’s mouth open he let a few drops of blood drop down into her mouth. No more would come, the wound had already closed.
“Were the cure in your blood?” The old lady was suspicious, her voice gave her away.
The girl cramped heavily. Her mouth was wide open like she was screaming, but no scream came. She started to move madly in the bed. Like if something was hurting her. She grabbed madly after the bed cloth while she kicked madly with her legs.
“What is happening?” The old lady shouted and hurried to the bed; pressed down the girl by the shoulders.
Seith just shrugged but his face and action was open to read for everyone. He knew what was going on.
The rotten flesh and skin started to be replaced by fresh. A new eyelid grew out.
“Help me! Hold her down!” The old lady screamed terrified.
Seith ignored her and opened her new eyelid with his fingers. Beneath was an eye with a leaf green pupil. Like if that was some kind of trigger, she calmed down and fell to sleep.
He released her eyelid and left the room, went out of the house and continued towards the direction of west.

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Journey Of Seith: Chapter 6 – Theo (Part 2)

The day passed quickly and school ended. Theo had been able to get all of the fingers on the robot arm to move. But not as smoothly as planed but enough for the test he have planned for it.
Alice had been nagging on him to start thinking and make preparations for the trip but somehow he had been able to escape from her. And now he was standing outside the goal of his test, ‘Robot Coliseum’. He entered.
It was just a small room there only a stair leading down and a small counter fitted.
“Oh so you are here again Theo?” The man behind the counter greeted.
“Yo, Klein. It’s been a while since I was here. Has anything changed?” Theo went over to the desk.
“No, nothing has changed as always. So you have come to watch again? How will your betting look like this time?”
“Not this time Klein” He took of the ruck sack and placed it on the desk. “I want to participate this time”
“Oh this was a surprise. What kind of robot do you got with you?”
“Don’t have one” He took out the robot arm and placed his arm in the rack which closed around it. “I thought I would participate in person with this arm”
“Are you kidding me? You are going to get kill. And that arm is going to break easily. It doesn’t even have a protection skin for its skeleton.”
“I am just going to test it and if I say I have lost then the match will end right? And there aren’t any rules for me to fight in person either is there”
“Ok then suit yourself” The man said and placed an iron box on the desk together with a metal card. “Just pay the participate money and go”
“See ya later Klein” Theo forced down a pair of bills through the slot on the box and grabbed the metal card.
Roars of cheering mixed with loud music and blinking lamps was what met Theo down the stair. “Guess I need to start in the third class” He said to himself but he didn’t hear his own voice.
Easily he found his way to the third class ring. There were barely any people around the ring.
“I would like to fight in this ring” Theo said to the clerk at the counter while holding up the metal card.
“Alright, what’s your name?”
“Theo” He answered short.
“Alright Theo” He wrote down his name on the paper in front of him. “You are up after this match, good luck”
“Thanks” In the ring were now a robot which just looked like a square formed metallic box on larva feet and with a single arm with two fingers. Against it was a similar robot. This one had actually a head and two arms. One with fingers the other one with a round saw blade.
“I bet the one armed is going to win” Theo mumbled.
The robots had now gone into close contact. They had grabbed each other with their arms. The robot with the head had started to close in with its saw blade.
A blue flash came from the one armed robot’s hand and the next second were the two armed robot still.
“Electro in the left corner is the winner” Said the man who were presenting the ring fights. “That was the second win for Electro, only one more until he can challenge someone. Next one up in the right corner is Theo”
“Let’s test the arm then” Theo said and made his way to the right corner.
“This is a surprise!” Theo had made his place in the right corner. “The new challenger is going to battle live using a robot arm! His arm doesn’t seem like it is very well made and he will risk being hurt since there is no rules against attacking him instead of the robot arm. Let the match begin”
The robot started to go straight at Theo. “I won’t hold back because you are fighting live” The man who controlled the robot shouted.
“I know that” Theo mumbled and lifted his arm.
Electro’s robot’s hand grabbed Theo’s leg and a blue light flashed.
Pain flowed through Theo and he fell to his knee. “Electricity is hurting more than I thought”
He stretched out his robot arm and grabbed Electro’s robot’s arm with two finger tips. Pressed them together; the robot’s arm snapped like a weak twig.
“That shot of electricity must have hurt on Theo but he won! I wonder how long he will keep up! Onto the next match” Shouted the presentation guy.

“What a surprise the young lad called Theo has just won his third match!” The presentation guy shouted.
“That robot arm he is using is better quality than it looks” One of the men in the audience said.
“Yes, there is some power in it alright. And the precision of the fingers is outstanding” Another man answered.
“It seems like it isn’t finished yet and he seems young” The first man said.
“It must be lack of money” A third man said.
“Money is always a problem” The second man said.
“And as a winner of a third match of C-class we will give him the opportunity to challenge whoever he wish, for the fourth match” The presentation man continued.
”I want to fight, Bulldof” Theo answered.
“Did he just say Bulldof?” The third man said surprised.
“Yeah, he must be crazy” The first man added.
“It is shame for that arm to have such a foolish person as user” The second man said.
“Theo has chosen Bulldof!  A fight with the strongest fighter will be presented in this small C-class arena for the first time of this coliseum’s history!”
A few minutes of wait until the women, long red hair and with an eye patch over her left eye, called Bulldf came and another minute until her robot was in the ring.
“Seems like you fight live little boy” The woman said and entered the ring. “Then I will do the same.
Her robot was massive, like a small tank; going on larva feet with six arms. Two with five finger hands of the size of a double grown males, one with a saw blade, another with an ordinary steam canon, one had a sledge and the last one was a nail.
“You will lose, you know boy” The women said.
“I know” Theo answered.
“Let’s the fight begin!”
“Good that you know, I will attack” The women said and followed after as her robot proceeded towards Theo.
Theo rushed forward and stretched out his robot hand towards the saw blade. Sparks flew as the saw blade met the robot arm’s palm. The fingers closed together and the saw blade stopped.
“Impressive arm but you will still lose” The women said as her robot lifted the sledge arm.
“Not yet I still have one thing left to test on the arm” He threw himself to the side and ran to the opposite side of the ring.
“What is this? Are you running now? Didn’t you say you needed to test something?” The women said as she followed her robot that proceeded towards Theo.
Theo lifted his arm and gave it support with his left arm. The hand turned a lap and steam flowed out of the arm. He stretched out the fingers so they created a triangle. Each fingertip started to glow white and air started to flow towards the space between the fingers.
“Are you kidding me?” The women said with stunned voice. “Do you have an air compressing steam canon in that small gadget of yours?”
“Did she just say air compressing steam canon?” The first man said surprised.
“No way can he have one of those in that kind of home build arm” The third man said without a very convincing voice.
“Not even the government can make a small air compressing steam canon in a gadget smaller than five cubic meters size” The second man said.
A small ball of air started to form. “This far no problem” Theo said while closely inspecting it.
The ball grew into the size that it would fit perfectly in a person’s palm. The robot arms started to shake brutaly. The fingertip’s stopped glowing and the ball vanished into a strong wind that flowed through the local.
“It didn’t work after all” Theo said and the robot arm fell of his arm, to the floor. He stretched up his hands. “I give up”

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Journey Of Seith: Chapter 6 – Theo (Part 1)

“Connecting this cable here and then that one over there and then it is done” Theo dropped the small wrench and pushed back the lamp. “With this I should be able to move both of the joints of the fingers” he lifted the robot arm and turned it around; placed his arm in the rack.
The rack closed around his arm and caught up his fingers in pairs except the thumb which were caught up alone.
“Now let’s see if it works” he lifted it up and faced the robot palm towards him. “Test one, first joint, finger NO.1” The finger moved smoothly at the lowest phalange near the palm. “Test one complete and working. Test two, second joint, finger No. 1” The finger moved at the second phalange with a laggy movement. He moved it back and forth a couple of times without the lag disappearing. “Test two Ok but improvements for the lag must be fixed. Test three, first joint, finger No.2” The finger remained unmoved. “Test three, failure. Test four, second joint, finger No.2” The finger moved at the second joint but laggy as finger No 1. “Test four done. Same result as test two. Test five, Finger No.3 first joint” The finger moved smoothly but only half as long as finger NO.1. “Test five complete, movement length needs to be improved. Test six, finger No.3, second joint” The finger moved at the second joint smoothly. “Test six complete and functioning properly”
He laid down the arm on the desk. His fingers were released and the rack opened up around his arm. Quickly he picked up the wrench and started with adjusting the screws for the fingers.
Theo saw how the apartment door opened in the mirror he had on his desk. A long, navy blue haired girl came in. She was clothed in a school uniform.
“God morning Theo” The girl shouted and closed the door behind her.
“Morning, Alice” He put the wrench in his breast pocket.
“Have you never thought of cleaning up here?” Alice said as she looked at the heaps of cords, metal and countless other stuff. There were only enough open space for a direct path to Theo’s desk, the toilet and the kitchen.
“If you would want to I could clean it up” She offered.
“No thanks. Everything is good organized and I know where to find everything so it is OK” He put some extra effort to the ‘OK’.
“If you say so, are you ready to go to school?”
Theo picked up a rucksack from beneath the desk. He placed the robot arm in the bag and placed it on his back. “Yeah, I am ready”
“Are you going to take that with you too school?”
“Yeah, I will have some time under the breaks to work on it.” He locked the apartment door.
What was outside the apartment wasn’t a street but a maze of pipes. Terian which was the capital of Techno had nothing which was named streets; only factories and countless of pipes which could stretch for miles. The pipes purpose was to lead steam but as their numbers had grown they had started to be used to walk and build on. A common nickname for the city was the ‘City Of steam’. This because the mainly power it used was steam that came from the steam salt from the sea.
“You need to keep it to the breaks. Don’t skip any lessons, you have skipped far too many” Alice said in a way that Theo thought was the same thing as nagging.
“Yeah, yeah, I know. But I don’t really need to go to every lesson. I get highest grade anyhow”
“I know” Alice answered uninterested. “But even so, you have surely forgotten the school trip next week, right?”
Theo stopped and his face turned slightly white.
Alice noticed and turned around. “Serious? Have you seriously forgotten bout the school trip?” Her voice told how surprised she was.
Theo just nodded with a stiff expression. Steam forced its way out of a pipe above their heads.
“How can you possible forget something like that?” She almost shouted. “It is the first school trip in Techno’s history with to Lighterig!”
“Yeah I know” The stiff expression disappeared. “Oh well, seems like I have been a little bit to focused on this arm project of mine. It is a week left so I should be able to make the preparations in time” He started to walk again and passed Alice.
“Don’t take this school trip so lightly!” Alice blew out and coughed up with Theo. “This isn’t like any ordinary school trip! We will be going to the country there the barbarians live! Not only do we need to be prepared with stuff but also mental prepared! What are you going to do if you aren’t prepared and someone attacks you? Or even dies in front of your eyes?” Her voice was deadly serious.
Theo just shrugged. “I don’t know and I don’t have any interest to think about it. What I will do in such a situation I won’t know until I am in one”
Theo was different from most that lived in Terian. He didn’t share their opinion on that Lighterig was a barbaric country. Nor did he have any interest to make Terian better. What he wanted to do was build everything he wanted to build. Not to know everything by fact but get to know it himself; to be there and know it by experience.

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Journey Of Seith: Chapter 5 – Sickness (Part 2)

Ferine had disappeared in the fog but Seith didn’t stop. He continued follow the path that opened up before him as he went. It closed behind him. No return.
He came out in a glade. The fog went like a white wall around it. Leaving everything except the glade unseen
Seith went forth to the lake and saw how the moon was reflected on the surface. His head fell backwards so his eyes gazed up on the star filled night sky. It had been midday as he entered the forest but now it was night. “I guess this place is special if the moon is at this hour”
A water drop fell on the lake’s surface, Seith’s head fell. Rings were spreading from the lake’s middle. One more drop and now countless rings periodic spread.
A yellow glowing willow branch appeared out of the lake’s surface at its middle. Following came two gigantic horns. Slowly after, the body of a deer came up from the lake. It stopped hovering over the surface. Its mane was of willow branches and its horns were tied in them as well.
Seith couldn’t tell that the yellow glowing deer that was in front of him were there. It didn’t have a presence. It felt like he saw straight through its body but still he didn’t.
“Welcome human to my glade” The deer said. Its mouth stood still but its voice still rung beautiful out.
“Are you the spirit of light?” Seith asked calmly.
“That is right. I am the spirit of light, the spirit of life and the spirit you seek. What cure do you seek, human?”
“Cure for rotten flesh” Seith said short. He wasn’t amazed by the spirit. The shape it possessed was to his liking. Nothing like that lived in Blooddale.
“I see. You want to renew flesh that has rotten. Are you sure that is the cure you seek human?”
“I guess. Since the one who needs the cure has rotten flesh” Seith said clueless of why the spirit had asked the question.
“If that is what you seek then I will give it to you, human” A willow branch of the spirit’s mane stretched down and touched the lake surface; not far from Seith. Rings spread over the surface and the lake started to glow yellow. “But I can’t understand. Why do you seek cure for rotten flesh for another and not a cure for that body of yours, human?”
“I guess you know then” He was a bit struck by the question. But it wasn’t a human so he thought it didn’t really matter. “I won’t die nor become sick from my body. But that girl with rotten flesh has that so-called fever so I just want to help her”
“I see. Then take the water of the lake. The water of the lake is the cure you seek, human”
“What is the prize?”
“Human, you are the first that asks that question so calmly”
“So what is the prize?”
“Only the cure knows. You will only know then the rotten flesh has been cured, human”
“I see but I don’t have a bottle”
“Human, drink the cure and feed the one with rotten flesh a drop of your blood”
The glade turned silence.
The spirit bent its neck so its head came closer to Seith. “Now human, consume the cure you seek”

“Sarak you have surpassed me, your master. Thus it is time for me to step down as the head of the Geringi clan”
Sarak clenched his fingers around his sword.
“I will give you all the energy, that the former masters of Geringi have collected, to you” The master placed his hands on his knees. “Release” he shouted.
Like an explosion, countless numbers of flows in ever imaginable color came bursting out of the master’s chest. Each of the energies moved separately, unpredictable through the room until they found their way to Serak’s chest. They forced their ways into it, bringing a burning pain. His fingers clenched even harder around the sword.
The room had been filled with the lines, that the energy flows created, and new energies continued to come out of the master while others ended.
The last energy streamed out of the master and flowed into Sarak’s body.
The master opened his eyes. “Now you are the master and head of the Geringi” A Strain of pain was in his face. “And now is the time for my last purpose. To die by your sword”
Saraks’ body ached and his breathing was heavily. But everything disappeared as he heard his master’s words. “What do you mean?” He shouted out. The master had risen up but Sarak couldn’t believe what was happening to him.
The master’s long grey hair and beard fell off while his ears started to grow like a bats. The skin turned purple and the teeth pointy. The cloth torn as bat wings grew out of the master’s back. The bare feet turned into hoofs while the legs grew into a cow’s with black hair.
It let out a light scream which made Sarak grab his hurting ears. The beast the master had turned into walked forwards to Sarak. Grabbed him around the neck; lifted him and dug its teeth into his neck.
He could feel it. It was drinking his blood. His fingers were still clenched around the sword scabbard. Like if his body started to move on its own he drew the sword out of the scabbard and pierced it through the beast’s chest. “I am sorry” He cried out.
The beast eased its grip around Sarak’s neck and its teeth loosened from his neck. The next second it fell lifeless to the floor.
Tears flowed uncontrollable down his chins as he saw how the beast quickly turned partly back into human. He fell to his knee followed by a black curtain falling over his eyes.

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